Tuesday, September 13, 2016

A Layout....... and some serious talk



Well hello there world!
It has been awhile since I have been here.

I am writing here today for two reasons, the first is the most difficult
 and I have been putting it off since it was first mentioned to me..... a few weeks ago lol.

Anyways so I'm here for therapy......yep therapy. 
Apparently this is going to be one step towards my recovery (so they say :O) 
so here goes it,

For the past couple of years I have been struggling, well with everything to be honest.
 I have been struggling with my health for some time now, 
and after 2 years of bullying and harassment at work.
I basically ended up having a complete physical and mental breakdown. 
I pulled away from life completely and have been struggling with it for the past 18 months, I don't leave the house other than to get groceries, or for dr's or specialist appointments.
 Its so hard to smile when some days your pain is so bad you can't brush your own hair 
or even put socks on.
A few diagnosis's later, I am starting to get a handle on how much my life has changed and will continue to change.

So this is me declaring to the world that I suffer from depression and anxiety!
(we're just starting with the tip of the iceberg lol)
I do not need to feel shame or guilt to be having this problem.
I have been told that I need to accept this and that sharing it will open me up to social engagement!
Which  I am lacking if you ask my therapist, she's quite opinionated if you ask me ;)

I am also writing this post because of one person that I found on facebook, don't know if any of you follow her, she is a Queen and her name is Constance Hall.
She rocks! She is so funny, gorgeous and is so down to earth.
Her blog is Queens of Constance
She shares all the nitty gritty of life that we prefer to pretend doesn't happen.
She has just written a book, here, I haven't read it yet, but have heard it is fantastic.
Its on my wish list but with no work comes no pay :(
I so want to be her when I grow up!
 In the meantime I am trying to learn that I am a Queen no matter what!

Therapy isn't my thing, I don't ask for help, I will refuse your help multiple times even if I'm on fire, I am a typical type A personality. I don't get mindfulness, I can't get my brain to shut up!
They have suggested that I get back to my creative pursuits as part of my "journey" to recovery.

I haven't done anything about it until I saw this scrolling through my facebook feed





Oh my! There is just something about this mood board from Dusty Attic that just speaks to me and calms me and makes me think of better days!
So I went in my room and uncovered what is left of my stash and start to shuffle some papers.
Now I have no new goodies so no judging on my old papers etc but I remembered one of the last things I bought were some Dusty Attic chipboard words.

At first I just sat there, I didn't know what to do, started to overthink it (one of my many problems lol) and then I just dove into the paints, inks and mists.
Oh you wouldn't believe how good it felt!

And this is what I came up with


So of course I used Dusty Attic Chipboard #happydays & Love This arrow word.
An assortment of papers, some goodies I still had from My2Angels and D-lish Scraps


Some close ups


SO it looks like I may still have some mojo after all.
Of course I would love to win, not only could I do with some new supplies, but the ego boost would be good too haha!
But honestly I am just happy to be able to get my fingers inky again!
 Not sure how many I will get done but that's one done,
 it will be good to have something to fill the time.
Now I need to find some energy and take my assistant (wonderful hubby) to take some new pics.

If you read this far, congratulations and thanks, that went on longer than I had planned so I will let you get back to your busy day,
but if you feel like throwing me a hello, you can do so either here, facebook or instagram (leesyjsnaps) or you could even write me a letter if you want :P

Until next time, hopefully soon

Lisa xoxo

14 comments:

  1. So happy you got back into creating again. I haven't been scrapbooking much myself lately either.
    I think we all know that life can sometimes be hard and I agree with you it feels good to have a creative outlet.Hopefully it will work for you and you will feel better. Being bullied etc certainly is tough and unfair and I am so sorry it happened to you. Keep on creating these lovely pages, I sure enjoyed looking at it!! Get out there and take those photos to scrap :-) :-) Good luck in the contest :-)

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  2. Throwing you a big hello and thank you for sharing what many of us don't.. I hope you are well on you way to recovery.. All the best to you.. And I hope you win, but really you are a winner because you pushed through and created this amazing layout, the colors are superb the textures and the photos all work together to make this a really beautiful layout.. Hang in there, I hope you keep getting better and find many joys each day.. So good to have a supportive hubby too..

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    1. Thanks Lizzy,. Hope you are doing well xoxo

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  3. I don't know you but I congratulate you for your post and as Lizzy said you are halfway there.Your LO is fantastic,I suffer from anxiety and depression along with a lot of health problems so I do understand how you feel.
    I wish you all the very best in your recovery.I am a BC survivor and try to Live by the Mantra "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" much love Trish x

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. Well you know me now :) Yes I also know that mantra well xoxo

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  4. So glad to see you are creating again and gosh what a beautiful layout. I am sorry you have been having such a difficult time over the last couple of years, depression and anxiety are certainly no fun and each day can be a battle, it is also hard to open up about . I wish that each day is better for you, I know it is exhausting trying to act like nothing is wrong when you feel like s..it . Look forward to seeing more creative goodness from you. x

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    1. Thanks Mary, Yep thats it exactly! Should be more to come soon!

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  5. I absolutely love your gorgeous creation. I am so happy that you are creating beautiful pages again and that you shared that you suffer from depression and anxiety. We have so much of that in our family, so it is wonderful to hear your story. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!! HUGS!!

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  6. Good on you for shouting this out to the world. Surely his is the beginning of the road to recovery. Wishing you all the very best for it. Your layout is fantastic - gorgeous design, beautiful layering and you nailed the mood board! Hope to see you back here again soon.

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  7. So glad to see you are creating again Lisa. You definitely haven't lost your mojo and this is a gorgeous take on this month's mood board !! Thanks so much for sharing with us at The Dusty Attic. Sending you a big squeezy hug xx

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  8. Firstly good on you Lisa for your bravery and sincere honesty! I wish you all the best with your recovery......one day at a time they say. And secondly wow your layout is simply beautiful.
    I love your interpretation of this month's challenge board. Take care and I look forward to seeing more of your work very soon. Thank you for playing along with us this month. xx

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  9. How wonderful that you are able to open up to the world!!! That is some of the Battle won already! Your honest words touched deep as I m also battling the same kind of demons...Wishing you all the very best and hope to see many more enlightening pages from you!!!! Thank you so much for sung a Dusty Attic moodboard for this honest post...Big Hugs....

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  10. I congratulate you for being open about your struggles. Two of my daughters struggle with anxiety and depression, I feel like right now, my life's work is supporting them emotionally and trying to find them help to make their lives better. So I totally get it! Wishing you healing.

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Your comments are what keep me going so please leave some love for me to thrive on!