Well hello there world!
It has been awhile since I have been here.
I am writing here today for two reasons, the first is the most difficult
and I have been putting it off since it was first mentioned to me..... a few weeks ago lol.
Anyways so I'm here for therapy......yep therapy.
Apparently this is going to be one step towards my recovery (so they say :O)
so here goes it,
For the past couple of years I have been struggling, well with everything to be honest.
I have been struggling with my health for some time now,
and after 2 years of bullying and harassment at work.
I basically ended up having a complete physical and mental breakdown.
I pulled away from life completely and have been struggling with it for the past 18 months, I don't leave the house other than to get groceries, or for dr's or specialist appointments.
Its so hard to smile when some days your pain is so bad you can't brush your own hair
Its so hard to smile when some days your pain is so bad you can't brush your own hair
or even put socks on.
A few diagnosis's later, I am starting to get a handle on how much my life has changed and will continue to change.
A few diagnosis's later, I am starting to get a handle on how much my life has changed and will continue to change.
So this is me declaring to the world that I suffer from depression and anxiety!
(we're just starting with the tip of the iceberg lol)
(we're just starting with the tip of the iceberg lol)
I do not need to feel shame or guilt to be having this problem.
I have been told that I need to accept this and that sharing it will open me up to social engagement!
Which I am lacking if you ask my therapist, she's quite opinionated if you ask me ;)
I am also writing this post because of one person that I found on facebook, don't know if any of you follow her, she is a Queen and her name is Constance Hall.
She rocks! She is so funny, gorgeous and is so down to earth.
Her blog is Queens of Constance
She shares all the nitty gritty of life that we prefer to pretend doesn't happen.
She has just written a book, here, I haven't read it yet, but have heard it is fantastic.
Its on my wish list but with no work comes no pay :(
I so want to be her when I grow up!
In the meantime I am trying to learn that I am a Queen no matter what!
I have been told that I need to accept this and that sharing it will open me up to social engagement!
Which I am lacking if you ask my therapist, she's quite opinionated if you ask me ;)
I am also writing this post because of one person that I found on facebook, don't know if any of you follow her, she is a Queen and her name is Constance Hall.
She rocks! She is so funny, gorgeous and is so down to earth.
Her blog is Queens of Constance
She shares all the nitty gritty of life that we prefer to pretend doesn't happen.
She has just written a book, here, I haven't read it yet, but have heard it is fantastic.
Its on my wish list but with no work comes no pay :(
I so want to be her when I grow up!
In the meantime I am trying to learn that I am a Queen no matter what!
Therapy isn't my thing, I don't ask for help, I will refuse your help multiple times even if I'm on fire, I am a typical type A personality. I don't get mindfulness, I can't get my brain to shut up!
They have suggested that I get back to my creative pursuits as part of my "journey" to recovery.
I haven't done anything about it until I saw this scrolling through my facebook feed
Oh my! There is just something about this mood board from Dusty Attic that just speaks to me and calms me and makes me think of better days!
So I went in my room and uncovered what is left of my stash and start to shuffle some papers.
So I went in my room and uncovered what is left of my stash and start to shuffle some papers.
Now I have no new goodies so no judging on my old papers etc but I remembered one of the last things I bought were some Dusty Attic chipboard words.
At first I just sat there, I didn't know what to do, started to overthink it (one of my many problems lol) and then I just dove into the paints, inks and mists.
Oh you wouldn't believe how good it felt!
At first I just sat there, I didn't know what to do, started to overthink it (one of my many problems lol) and then I just dove into the paints, inks and mists.
Oh you wouldn't believe how good it felt!
And this is what I came up with
So of course I used Dusty Attic Chipboard #happydays & Love This arrow word.
An assortment of papers, some goodies I still had from My2Angels and D-lish Scraps
Some close ups
SO it looks like I may still have some mojo after all.
Of course I would love to win, not only could I do with some new supplies, but the ego boost would be good too haha!
But honestly I am just happy to be able to get my fingers inky again!
Not sure how many I will get done but that's one done,
it will be good to have something to fill the time.
Now I need to find some energy and take my assistant (wonderful hubby) to take some new pics.
If you read this far, congratulations and thanks, that went on longer than I had planned so I will let you get back to your busy day,
but if you feel like throwing me a hello, you can do so either here, facebook or instagram (leesyjsnaps) or you could even write me a letter if you want :P
Until next time, hopefully soon
Lisa xoxo
Of course I would love to win, not only could I do with some new supplies, but the ego boost would be good too haha!
But honestly I am just happy to be able to get my fingers inky again!
Not sure how many I will get done but that's one done,
it will be good to have something to fill the time.
Now I need to find some energy and take my assistant (wonderful hubby) to take some new pics.
If you read this far, congratulations and thanks, that went on longer than I had planned so I will let you get back to your busy day,
but if you feel like throwing me a hello, you can do so either here, facebook or instagram (leesyjsnaps) or you could even write me a letter if you want :P
Until next time, hopefully soon
Lisa xoxo
